Dwelling in the Eternal Love

Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …

Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …

It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …

– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …

I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …

– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.

Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’

I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.

Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !

Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …

Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….

He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …

Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….

There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …

How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …

– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.

While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’

He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?

There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…

Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …

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To be continued ….

#roksanatales

Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?

I’m just curious ….

Prayers of Happiness

A simple prayer
Powerful enough
‘You deserve happy’ …

You think you can stop loving someone,
But in reality
You can only hide that feeling,
You never stop loving …
Because once you love someone,
There’s no undoing it …
There’s only prayers of
Happiness for them …

#roksanatales

A Melancholic Music

You are like a music
Which creates melancholic
moods inside my heart …
A melody that lingers, night and day …
I take time to listen to it,
I find myself enchanted;
When nothing seems to ease my restlessness
I listen to you, my music
To walk the long journey of life
Even though it only creates melancholic moods
But you are like that music to me
Loving, healing, heart-touching
Connecting my soul to you
Forever and always ….

#roksanatales

Apharwat Peak, Gulmarg

The Moonlit Night, Tonight

Srinagar, Kashmir

I’m so lost now …
Seeing you
In the breeze of the moonlit night …

That faraway moon brightens our long conversations so much,
That it feels
Like we could talk forever
In the deep of this moonlit night …

I’m so lost now
Looking deep in your eyes
As you whisper sweet nothings
In the breeze of the moonlit night tonight …

A Symphony of Love …

Pahalgam, Kashmir

The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….

There
I felt shy when you came near to me
The breeze could hear the breaths of my silent shyness … but I couldn’t …

Here
My unheard songs are echoing across the mountains
Even though I’m feeling a bit lonely
Without you ….
Yet this loneliness has a fragrance of you
Our love has hopes for tomorrow
This distance looks good to me …

The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….

#roksanatales

A Tale of Twin Paintings

I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.
-Vincent Willem Van Gogh

It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.

So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.

A Tale of Twin Paintings

Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …

Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?

Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….

Amazing, na?

Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.

When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.

Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …

For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.

Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.

Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you;
Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.

Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.

Warmly,

Roksana
#roksanatales

JianBirdGallery❄️ JianBirdCreates

‘I dream my painting and I paint my dreams’

Grey isn’t What I’m Meant to be …

Life is somewhat grey
Everywhere
Just monotony
Lost and lonely …

Don’t you know?

Only when you stay
Life is colorful ….
A hopeful glow
Echoes of brighter joy
Birds sing cheerful songs
Rays of sunshines warm my cheeks
My yellow dyed dreams return …

Now it’s grey
Everywhere …

When will you come?
Without you, I feel grey ….

Don’t you know?
Grey isn’t what I’m meant to be …

#roksanatales

And Promise Me …

The Good Traveler

And promise me
You’ll always remember:

You’re
Braver than you believe, and
Stronger than you seem, and
Smarter than you think.”

A. A Milne, Winnie the Pooh

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On the road
#roksanatales

Sonamarg, Kashmir

A Home

I haven’t met you
I haven’t seen you
But often I feel a home in you …

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#roksanatales

Where the glacier meets the sky, the land ceases to be earthly, and the earth becomes one with the heavens; no sorrows live there anymore, and therefore joy is not necessary; beauty alone reigns there, beyond all demands”-

Halldór Laxness

A Postcard from Kashmir

Meeting among The Mountains

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

I dreamt of walking
On mountains
And
I dreamt of meeting
You ….

Here I’m walking
On the lands of magical mountains …
High above the crowds and the clouds,
Under the ancient pine trees
I’m in its close embrace ..
Surrendering to the magnificence …
Believe, I could see nothing
In the thread of mist
Caressing the wind
Everywhere I see
You …

Only you …

#roksanatales

Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

Detached Attachment

Shalimar

I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …

After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….

Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….

Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….

The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….

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#roksanatales

Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?

I wish …

I wish
I were a bird!
So that I could
Fly to you
Just right now …

#roksanatales

Midst the Silence …

Wherever you’ll be, I shall be able to see you

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
My hurt inside is too loud …

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I’ll never ever forget you …

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I just don’t want to let you go
But inside I know I must …

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#roksanatales

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Homesickness

Pahalgam, Kashmir

Where the mountain meets the moon
Stay still,
And listen to the melody
Of the blue sky ….
Wander ….
Murmur ….
In homesickness
In the blues of the night ….

Pondering

Is a reflection of you
A mirror of a beautiful reflection of me?

Or

A reflection of you
Is nothing but a beautiful reflection of me.

#roksanatales

Melancholia

Soft yellow breeze …
Sweetness surrounds …
Such tenderness …
Yet a melancholy mood …

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#roksanatales

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A post shared by Roksana Amelia (@jianbirdcreates)

In Silence …

If you’re silent,
I know in silence you say more …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t want to know about you …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t feel what happens to you …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t remember you …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t care about you …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t miss you …

If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t love you …

I miss you
I know you
I care for you
I remember you
I feel for you
I love you

Always …

#roksanatales

It Doesn’t Matter

I know it’s strange
But I do adore you as you are …
And it doesn’t matter
If we live far away from
Each other …

I know it’s strange
That I don’t know about you,
And I didn’t see this coming
But it doesn’t matter
If I constantly long for you
hopelessly …

I know it’s strange
But I love you way too much
And it doesn’t matter
If you can’t prevent me
From loving you forever …

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#roksanatales

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Somehow …

Life moves on …
And feelings fade away,
But some feelings are so strong
You can not get over those;
Somehow they stay …

#roksanatales

Collide!

The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you
The place was a haunting one
The light was shining
And
You and I collide
Yet we never kissed …
You never touched my face …
What could I say?
What could I do?
There I stood, unknowing
What’s happening
In a world full of billions
There were you
Mixed with all of the chaos
Inside and Out
At that very moment
I somehow felt
You and I collide
For a reason …
When
The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you

…

#roksanatales

Chained: Can You Escape Fate? – A Poem

If only you would realize some day, how much have you hurt me,
If only your heart ever, craves for me or my presence…
If only you feel that love again someday for me,
If only you are affected someday by my absence…
Only you can end all my suffering and this unbearable pain,
If only you would know what you could never procure…
If only you go through the memories of past once again,
Since the day you left my heart has bled, no one has its cure…
If only you would bring that love, those showers and that rain…
If only you would come back and see what damage you create,
I’ve been waiting for your return since forever more…
If only you would see the woman that you have made,
You said we cannot sail through, how were you so sure?
If only you can feel the old things that can never fade,
You may have moved on, but a piece of my heart is still with you…
I know how I’ve come so far alone; I know how I’m able to wade,
People say that I’m insane and you won’t ever come back again…
Maybe you would have never made your separate way,
Maybe you would have stayed with me and proved everyone wrong…
If only you would know the pain of dying every day,
If only you would feel the burden of smiling and being strong…

– Mehek Bassi, Chained: Can you escape fate?

Dinner Date – A Painting

Once upon a time, there was a couple. They lived together for 55 years. They haven’t yet had their dinner date outside home. This is the first time they are going outside to have their dinner date.….

Story to
Be continued from me …. 😊

Meanwhile you may share your thought of the story of this lovely couple’s very special dinner date.

#roksanatales

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A post shared by Roksana Amelia (@jianbirdcreates)

Ramadan Mubarak – Speak Kindly

There are times when people need a little encouragement but they never get one.

Because no one showed them a ray of hope

No one gave them words of reassurance

And told them it’s not okay to think you’re a loser

You can’t let all that potential go to waste.

The Quran says

Speak kindly to people

And this includes giving them the inspiration when they need it the most.

In this Ramadan, make sure that you speak kindly to people and give them the inspiration they need in their life.

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May you have good people around you who speak kindly to you.

#roksanatales

Bridge Over Troubled Water – A Song

https://youtu.be/4G-YQA_bsOU

Have you heard this song? …

When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.

Unknown

Sayuri – An Embroidery 🪡

Hair tied in circle …
Blue night …
Mountains are making the path …
Blossoms are coming.

#roksanatales

I Wish I Knew – A Poem by Donna Ashworth

I wish I knew, from the start,
that self-esteem is a home grown virtue.
And that you should never plant those precious seeds,
in someone else’s garden.

I wish I knew, at every step,
that all those seeds really require,
in order to bloom,
is approval, from yourself.

Yes I wish I knew, way back then,
that self-approval is their sunlight,
peace is their soil
and love is their rain.
And all the other things can come and go like the seasons and the wind.

I wish I knew, all along,
that those seeds can grow so tall, so strong and so fierce,
like the most beautiful sunflowers,
if the conditions are right.
Or they can wither away to weed and husk,
if neglected.

I wish I knew, that no matter how much of the world I scoured,
I would not find a better garden,
than the one I could grow myself,
if only I knew how.

And I wish for you,
to know,
this too,
so you,
can grow,
and water,
you.

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From “I Wish I Knew” by Donna Ashworth

Little Easels – Paintings

Happy Easels, Little Easels

Hello Everyone, I’m so delighted to let all of you know that I’ll be organising an in house exhibition, titled ‘Meet & Greet’ for the theme of ‘Love & Light’.

All the details are in the link:

https://fb.me/e/3jE0l7WS9?mibextid=RQdjqZ

I’m already thankful and grateful for each of the gift of purchase from JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project (Greeting Cards & Little Easel Paintings). The gifts are going to be DOUBLED as a ‘Giveaway’ from Jian Bird Creates to any non-profit organization working for the climate change movement, empowerment and education for women and children, or sustainability locally and globally.

So, ‘Meet & Greet’ and be a part of JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project and help make an impact in the community and beyond.

Registration is must: Fill up the form to join the event:

https://forms.gle/z8iNSbri9zsQhSsc6

If you kindly come, I’ll be super happy for your presence at my humble event.

I hope to see you there, in shaAllah

With love,
Roksana Amelia

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‘We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Mother Teresa

Love is a Verb

Let’s sit
And talk

Talk about the dots those bring us here.

Let’s sit
And stare

Stare at each other to feel our deepest core.

Let’s sit
And see

See the skies with your blue and my yellow emotions.

Let’s sit
And listen

Listen to the heartbeats that pound at the very sight of each other.

Let’s sit
And look

Look for the memories of our smiles.

Let’s sit
And fly

Fly high to soar in the sky together.

Let’s sit
And plan

Plan our trips holding each other’s hands.

Let’s sit
And touch

Touch the little joy of our souls.

Let’s sit
And feel

Feel the inner beauty of our hearts.

Let’s sit
And pray

Pray that we never part from the other.

Let’s sit
And hold

Hold on to each other forevermore.

Let’s sit
And give

Give magical hugs, kisses and warm caresses saying, ‘I love you.’

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roksanatales

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Tell me, ‘Do you love me?’