Dwelling in the Eternal Love

Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …

Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …

It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …

– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …

I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …

– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.

Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’

I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.

Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !

Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …

Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….

He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …

Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….

There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …

How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …

– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.

While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’

He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?

There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…

Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …

.

To be continued ….

#roksanatales

Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?

I’m just curious ….

A Melancholic Music

You are like a music
Which creates melancholic
moods inside my heart …
A melody that lingers, night and day …
I take time to listen to it,
I find myself enchanted;
When nothing seems to ease my restlessness
I listen to you, my music
To walk the long journey of life
Even though it only creates melancholic moods
But you are like that music to me
Loving, healing, heart-touching
Connecting my soul to you
Forever and always ….

#roksanatales

Apharwat Peak, Gulmarg

A Tale of Twin Paintings

I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.
-Vincent Willem Van Gogh

It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.

So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.

A Tale of Twin Paintings

Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …

Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?

Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….

Amazing, na?

Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.

When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.

Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …

For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.

Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.

Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you;
Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.

Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.

Warmly,

Roksana
#roksanatales

JianBirdGallery❄️ JianBirdCreates

‘I dream my painting and I paint my dreams’

And Promise Me …

The Good Traveler

And promise me
You’ll always remember:

You’re
Braver than you believe, and
Stronger than you seem, and
Smarter than you think.”

A. A Milne, Winnie the Pooh

.

.

On the road
#roksanatales

Sonamarg, Kashmir

A Home

I haven’t met you
I haven’t seen you
But often I feel a home in you …

.

.

.

#roksanatales

Where the glacier meets the sky, the land ceases to be earthly, and the earth becomes one with the heavens; no sorrows live there anymore, and therefore joy is not necessary; beauty alone reigns there, beyond all demands”-

Halldór Laxness

A Postcard from Kashmir

Meeting among The Mountains

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

I dreamt of walking
On mountains
And
I dreamt of meeting
You ….

Here I’m walking
On the lands of magical mountains …
High above the crowds and the clouds,
Under the ancient pine trees
I’m in its close embrace ..
Surrendering to the magnificence …
Believe, I could see nothing
In the thread of mist
Caressing the wind
Everywhere I see
You …

Only you …

#roksanatales

Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

Detached Attachment

Shalimar

I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …

After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….

Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….

Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….

The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….

.

.

.

#roksanatales

Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?

I wish …

I wish
I were a bird!
So that I could
Fly to you
Just right now …

#roksanatales

I Sense You ….

watching sunset ✿ܓsimple and shiny

In the stillness of the lake
As I keep still,
I sense you
I sense a feeling of warmth
Flowing inside me …
I sense a reflection of you
Residing inside me …
So beautiful and mesmerising …
Then
I sense the strength to move along
In various ups and downs of life
With you and you only …

.

.

.

#roksanatales

.

.

.

dilkash rahe zindagi hai bas yahi dua sun lo naa

Midst the Silence …

Wherever you’ll be, I shall be able to see you

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
My hurt inside is too loud …

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I’ll never ever forget you …

Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I just don’t want to let you go
But inside I know I must …

.

.

#roksanatales

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Pondering

Is a reflection of you
A mirror of a beautiful reflection of me?

Or

A reflection of you
Is nothing but a beautiful reflection of me.

#roksanatales

Melancholia

Soft yellow breeze …
Sweetness surrounds …
Such tenderness …
Yet a melancholy mood …

.

.

.

.

#roksanatales

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Roksana Amelia (@jianbirdcreates)

It Doesn’t Matter

I know it’s strange
But I do adore you as you are …
And it doesn’t matter
If we live far away from
Each other …

I know it’s strange
That I don’t know about you,
And I didn’t see this coming
But it doesn’t matter
If I constantly long for you
hopelessly …

I know it’s strange
But I love you way too much
And it doesn’t matter
If you can’t prevent me
From loving you forever …

.

.

#roksanatales

.

Collide!

The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you
The place was a haunting one
The light was shining
And
You and I collide
Yet we never kissed …
You never touched my face …
What could I say?
What could I do?
There I stood, unknowing
What’s happening
In a world full of billions
There were you
Mixed with all of the chaos
Inside and Out
At that very moment
I somehow felt
You and I collide
For a reason …
When
The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you

…

#roksanatales

Chained: Can You Escape Fate? – A Poem

If only you would realize some day, how much have you hurt me,
If only your heart ever, craves for me or my presence…
If only you feel that love again someday for me,
If only you are affected someday by my absence…
Only you can end all my suffering and this unbearable pain,
If only you would know what you could never procure…
If only you go through the memories of past once again,
Since the day you left my heart has bled, no one has its cure…
If only you would bring that love, those showers and that rain…
If only you would come back and see what damage you create,
I’ve been waiting for your return since forever more…
If only you would see the woman that you have made,
You said we cannot sail through, how were you so sure?
If only you can feel the old things that can never fade,
You may have moved on, but a piece of my heart is still with you…
I know how I’ve come so far alone; I know how I’m able to wade,
People say that I’m insane and you won’t ever come back again…
Maybe you would have never made your separate way,
Maybe you would have stayed with me and proved everyone wrong…
If only you would know the pain of dying every day,
If only you would feel the burden of smiling and being strong…

– Mehek Bassi, Chained: Can you escape fate?

Sayuri – An Embroidery 🪡

Hair tied in circle …
Blue night …
Mountains are making the path …
Blossoms are coming.

#roksanatales

Little Easels – Paintings

Happy Easels, Little Easels

Hello Everyone, I’m so delighted to let all of you know that I’ll be organising an in house exhibition, titled ‘Meet & Greet’ for the theme of ‘Love & Light’.

All the details are in the link:

https://fb.me/e/3jE0l7WS9?mibextid=RQdjqZ

I’m already thankful and grateful for each of the gift of purchase from JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project (Greeting Cards & Little Easel Paintings). The gifts are going to be DOUBLED as a ‘Giveaway’ from Jian Bird Creates to any non-profit organization working for the climate change movement, empowerment and education for women and children, or sustainability locally and globally.

So, ‘Meet & Greet’ and be a part of JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project and help make an impact in the community and beyond.

Registration is must: Fill up the form to join the event:

https://forms.gle/z8iNSbri9zsQhSsc6

If you kindly come, I’ll be super happy for your presence at my humble event.

I hope to see you there, in shaAllah

With love,
Roksana Amelia

.

.

‘We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Mother Teresa

Two Young Mind

In the long echoing life
Two young mind
Found an element so fine
Like red wine
And sharpened their last breath
Through the long echoing death ….

The pair loved many years
Endured life what God gave them
Asked for them no second best
And celebrated life with no other but the rest
In the long long echoing life
Through the long echoing death …

Both loved the strange thoughts
Not so sober for the sober though;
Yet knew how to laugh, weep and go
And all the living mock
Drank the sweet extremity of their passion rough
In the long echoing life
Through the long long echoing death …

The woman talked to make up solitudes
Sounded almost like a pretty autumn time
Blossoming and falling into a bursting rhyme
The man knew this beautiful woman-soul
And was pleased to see her gorgeous look
And dared enough to make her whole
In their long echoing life
Through their long echoing death …

Traveled many moons
The two mesmerising soul
Through the days of their young and old
Almost shared all the neighbouring mind
Emptied the cage and let the cage bird fly being so kind
‘Fifty years’, the woman counted
‘Fifty sweet years’, the man whispered
Their love broods
Still in the long echoing life
Still through the long echoing death.

.

.

#roksanatales

Fantasy

.

Without spectacles I can not see you …
Without spectacles I wish to see you …

#roksanatales

Unfinished – A Painting

.

Each flower reflects God’s perfect glory,
Quietly drifting along the wondrous things around;
Though unfinished it seems,
There is magic
In its vibrant colours!

.

How vibrant are you in reflecting your magic around?

.

.

#roksanatales
#JianBirdCreates
#JianBirdGallery❄️

Dear Art – A Letter

Dear Art,

How are you?
I have something to tell you.

I have visited places to see you, feel you, articulate you in my own way. The more I see you, the more I fall in love with you. Some make it complicated and some make you so simple. You are instilled with so many stories of different people. And different people see you with their different perspectives, with their own stories. It fascinates me. It doesn’t matter to you if you are old or young. You know only to encompass yourself to infinity. You do not hide. You are open for all. Some feel you like home. Some treat you like strangers.

Dear Art,
You are not stranger to me. You are like home to me. I do not like to describe you much. You come to me as a beautiful surprise each day. You bring rainbow colours to explore my universe. I rest in you silently nurturing a world full of wonders. I feel pure.

Dear Art,
Do you know you make me shimmery, trembling, softly, from within?

Love,
Me

#roksanatales
#JianBirdCreates
#JianBirdGallery❄️

Do you have any letter for art and me?

Cogitating

Feeling totally lost
Lost inside …
May be it’s my reunion
With my inner guide …

Adrift …

✿

Fallen;
I wont be lost

Stolen;
I wont be lost

Hurt;
I wont be lost

Not strong;
I wont be lost

Scared ;
I wont be lost

Fought;
I wont be lost

Silent;
I wont be lost

Loved
I wont be lost.

Find me
Before the mountains crumble.
Find me
Before I m lost.

✿

#roksanatales

How often do you feel lost, lost in translation of your feelings and emotions?

This street photography was taken by me, Downtown Brooklyn, April, 2022. Apart from the whole girly face image, I loved the collage of a bird at the bottom left. Do you love taking photographs while just walking the roads? Do you observe things and people around while on the street? Do you contemplate in midst of crowd? Can you find quiet time with yourself even when you are with people around? Just asking! I’m curious to know you 😊

The Ache That Would Not Leave’ – A Painting

Can I ask you something?

“Behind the hum and routine of daily living, there lay a persistent and wild longing for something she could not easily put into words. It felt like impulsive adventures and watching the sun rise over unfamiliar mountains ….

The truly heartbreaking part was that she could feel the remaining days of her life falling away, like leaves from an autumn tree, but still this mysterious person who held the key to unlock her secrets did not arrive; they were missing, and she knew not where to find them.”
-John Mark Green

#roksanatales
#JianBirdCreates
#JianBirdGallery❄️

I treasure my painting moments ….
What are your treasured moments?

Early Morning Rituals

Wake up early morning …
Watch the beautiful sunrise …
You can watch it from your small or big balcony or rooftop (if possible or you prefer)
Or just from your window …

Sit and feel the breeze on your cheeks …
Contemplate …
Smile … keep smiling 😃
Oh! I forgot to say …
Can you please sit with a glass of warm water with honey and কালিজিরা (black cumin) in it?
(Or you like a cup of tea early morning?
I don’t know about you)
They say it’s good for health if you can have the warm water with honey and black cumin in the early morning of everyday …
Write something …
Read aloud for a while …

Stretch your body …
Make your bed nicely …
And say, ‘Thank you bed for a wonderful warmth that I felt from my last night’s sleep on you! You are so very kind!’
You can blow a flying kiss to it 😘

(You want to go for a walk
Early morning?
I don’t know about you.
But if you go for an early morning walk,
It’s all good … )

Now start the day.

Heyyy, don’t forget to take a long shower
(If you are not in a hurry though;
See, I don’t know about you)

Finally, be grateful for the day, pray …
For you are alive, breathing!
Every new day is a new beginning …

Byeeee for now 😊

.

What are your morning rituals?
Let me know please.

.

#roksanatales

Cherished – A Painting

Cherished

I am with you without speaking much
In an intimacy that’s only mine
As free to wander in the silence of the long highway road
As the way the trees shimmer orange, red and yellow in the sunlight …

I am with you without meeting you
In a sacred heart that’s only mine
As a veiled woman would enter a paradise
As God takes care of my every weakness within me …

#roksanatales

Dear Taj, I Met You

.

Dear Taj

You are a sign of my eternal love

I still remember the very first moment I met Taj

A beauty stood in front of me

First time we met, I could see

That Taj and I were meant to be ….

.

Dear Taj

You are my evergreen flower

Grows of fine and purest white

And delicate with fresh new leaves

Growing by its side

Shining through quietly

The sun was out there with warmth and dazzling light

Bewildered by its unspoken beauty

There I shivered and I didn’t talk to anybody ..

I wandered in its classic passageways

I was silent for long and

I forgot the moving earth around …

I was lost

In the gardens, the palace, the embroidered doors, walls and marbles ….

In all its beauty and ecstasy

I was sure of one thing that

I was looking for something

That I searched in silence …

.

Dear Taj

I met you …..

I felt if time could stand still

I’d freeze it here

Close and near

With all its mystery

Filled with love so pure

Given to you.

.

I wore a serene smile

I was barefoot for a while

My tiny little fingers shivered

When Taj touched me and I was so drawn to it

And at that very moment

I painted my sacred pilgrimage

Enveloped with love and peace …

Dear Taj,

For eternity

You are a mysterious beauty

Within me ….

A wondrous splendour

Like a beautiful song

I’ve found

What I have been searching for

A beautiful emotion in my heart …

My Taj, I met you

Dreaming I’ll meet you again

I remember saying to you

‘See you soon my darling

See you soon.’

After that I have been travelling through many moon

And there,

My dear Taj

Waits a lyrical waiting to greet me….

So here I m waiting to meet Taj as we are meant to be together.

So with heavenly light

Flowers bloom, birds sing

The blossoms reaching for the sun

Breathing the scented hues

Spreading the warmth of a promise

With fragrance in the air

With harps, with joy

With hope, with spirit

Within the beautiful blooming

Taj Mahal, I long to see you again ….

.

Dear Taj

Again I’ll see you

For a perfect peaceful solitude made for two

Again I’ll touch you

Your whisper would touch my cheek

Again I’ll blush

You’ll say …

‘Come now and rejuvenate with joy!’

Held by the arms I would step forward

Together with the one who is

My mystery, my dear Taj …

Dear Taj & Dear Me