I Have a Fondness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
A fascination with the fragile
The delicate dance of hearts
Walking unsteadily on the edge …
In love …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
At times it seems
Love’s other name is
Broken hearts …
An echo of longing …
A symphony of cracks …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
In love, I find
A beauty in the fracture,
In the spaces …
Where light seeps through the wounds
Where the raw and the real collide
In a blaze of truth and tenderness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
It’s a mosaic of
Shattered dreams
Pieced together with hope …
A courage of feeling
The audacity of connection …

I have a fondness
For the breaking …
For the way love demands vulnerability …
For the way it strips us bare …
For the way all its flaws are revealed
I have a fondness
For my unguarded heart
Breaking apart …

For in the breaking,
We find the depth of love
The resilience of the beautiful soul …
The beauty of a heart
That dares to love
Even knowing it might break …
That’s how I have a fondness
For breaking apart …

Tea or Coffee

You love tea
I love coffee
Each sip, a story
Each cup, a journey …

Your mornings start
With delicate leaves
Unfolding in warmth
A ritual of peace …

Yours and mine!

Mine begin
With bold beans
Ground into essence
A rush of energy …

Together
We blend flavors
Contrasts harmonize
Creating a beautiful combo …

Yours with mine!

In your serenity
I find calm
In my vigor
You find spark …

Two worlds
Two cups
One shared moment
A beautiful combo …

Mine with yours!

Do you prefer tea or coffee?

How did you celebrate International Tea Day?

Tell your tea/ coffee story (if any)

A Young Heart and Taj Mahal

A tender heart treads softly
There at Taj Mahal …
And the marble gleams bright
On her …
As she wears a young love –
Endlessly searching through timeless steps …

Marble dreams reflect a young girl’s wonder
Taj Mahal, Agra

Suddenly, I can’t quite understand why I wanted those shoes so much …

I still love the shoes I wore that day, and I remember the feeling of walking around in it. It was our first trip abroad—just the three sisters, our brother, and our parents. We sisters were fond of this type of Lehenga, which was very popular at the time. So, I chose one and matched it with the perfect shoe. We bought these in Kolkata (Calcutta) and traveled from there to Delhi, then Agra, Jaipur, and other places.

On that day, we chose to wear this attire specifically for our visit to the Taj Mahal. It was such a beautiful day—I still remember it vividly. We got ready to see the Taj Mahal in person, wearing our special outfits. My jewelry consisted only of earrings and a watch. In our youth, we didn’t need any makeup, and we three sisters looked stunning in our attire. I still remember how much my father loved our outfits and took great care of us. He made sure we all took pictures in front of the Taj just like this.

Needless to say, I felt incredibly elegant in my own skin—beautiful, serene, warm, and quiet.

I was a very quiet girl back then—so quiet that my close ones used to call me ‘Dead Beauty.’

However, I wish to visit Taj again ..

Do you wish to visit with me?

Pondering

In puzzled ponder, a name I’ve heard
Though “Roksana” my soul preferred …
Yet as time passed by
A fondness did arise
Love’s influence moves my heart …
Let the name be my tender song
In love’s embrace, I truly belong …

Quiet Contemplation

Your absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

Separation by W.S. Merwin

The Way of Rest

You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them. You cannot give answers that are right for them, or even answers they can digest right now. They will have to find their own answers.

Jeff Foster

C’est la vie

My Dear,
It’s likely that as you were writing to me, I was walking back home from work, taking in the beauty of the flowers in my charming neighborhood …

I adore my neighborhood. The scenery is incredibly captivating with its tall trees and beautiful blossoming flowers. I frequently opt to walk home from work, as it’s only 850-1000 steps from my workplace to my home …

So, what I was saying about my neighborhood!

I really admire the shade under the tall trees and enjoy watching the breeze rustle through the colorful bougainvillea. It’s lovely to see people walking along the footpath and enjoying their time. As I passed by the mosque, I noticed people seeking relief from the scorching heat under the trees in front of the mosque. I adore the vibrant colors, the fragrant scents, and the sense of simplicity in that scene.

It was scorching heat outside. And there I found myself embracing the warmth of the surroundings. There was refreshing cool breeze and thoughts of you. It may sound unbelievable, but it’s the truth. Your presence in my thoughts remains unwavering amidst the whirlwind of life’s events. Please, believe that.

So, where was I? I was expressing my fondness for the delightful, blossoming, shady path in my neighborhood and how much I’m fond of you …

Today I took a break from work as I was feeling an intermittent cramping in my abdomen. Some rest will help me feel better. However,. Sudden leave from work leads me to think, “How can I best utilize this extra time at home?” Swiftly, I begin mentally compiling a to-do list. Eventually, I decided to walk back home…

While returning, I found myself feeling happy to see these blossoms and greens. The outside heat was too strong but I cared less and I continued walking, intermittently pausing to capture photographs.

I returned home and checked my email once again. I was so surprised to receive your mail. This news brightened my day so much that now I feel inspired to spend the next few hours painting.

I find great pleasure in painting when my heart is filled with happiness and I was very happy to read your mail. 

Your words and painting will grace my own solitude for today, now and here. 

Do you enjoy solitude?

I eagerly await your response to my somewhat poetic emails.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, blissful day!

Yours truly,
^^

Do you enjoy solitude?

C’est la vie means ‘That’s life’ 😊

Immersed

There once was a curious soul
Wondering how your days roll
What activities fill your time …
It’s something she often wonders about …
Completely immersed in the moment

When I’m happy, either I sing or I paint. when I’m very happy I do both 😊

What do you do when you’re happy or very happy?

I Read It As

A university degree, four books, and hundreds of articles and I still make mistakes when reading, You write to me “good morning” and I read it as, “I love you” …

Mahmoud Darwish

Finding Joy

Desires unmet, dreams fade
Yet, gratitude fills the heart
Finding joy in what we have …

Discovering happiness doesn’t always involve fulfilling your desires.; it’s about cherishing what you already possess and expressing gratitude for it …

Finding Joy in life’s simple yet priceless pleasures, like

-relishing solitude at home
-preparing homemade meals
-writing letters in such era of emojis and instant messaging
-engaging in agenda less conversations with loved ones
-spreading joy with smiles and laughter
-lighting fragrant candles
-tending to plants, and
-expressing ‘I love you’ selflessly and unconditionally
-coming back to home by walking and appreciating the friendly neighbourhood and the beautiful surroundings with greenery and flower blossoming

And many more of such things ….

Please do share some of your small moments in which you find joy ….

A Letter to Beloved

Can you perceive
An unseen bond between us?
It ties us together; trust it, my love …
It’s invisible, yet unmistakably sensed
Certainly by me …
Do you not sense it as well?
A connection surpassing time and distance…
Ours is an endless bond
Our eternal, cherished blessing …

Through moments fleeting and forever
The thread weaves its way …
Stretching, sometimes tangling,
Yet resilient, unyielding …
As time, as it is infinite, it will stay …

Oh, my beloved, my dear …
Please pardon me, the mistake was mine
Throughout the moments we shared
And the clarity we’ve known …
It took me a while
To fully understand your essence …

Now I know
This love endures, and
Time, place, circumstance may shift,
This love is unbroken, my constant uplift …

Cherish caring hearts; love’s true wealth …

I’m uncertain if the title fits these verses. Do you have a suggestion?

^^

The Poetry in That Girl

I reconnected with that girl anew –
Who once embraced life fully …
Who danced with every step and radiated joy
Whose eyes were some sunflowers, blooming
And whose soul ignited fireworks, dazzling …

I played music for that girl again …
In hopes that its melody would ignite her spirit within
Creating a haven for her to emerge from the shadows
And dance once more under the stars …

Knowing that she would find solace within these moments
With each sunset painted in hues of gold
And each gentle breeze whispering
Through the trees ….
I hoped to create a sanctuary where she could feel safe enough to reveal herself once again …

Deep within, I felt her presence stirring,
A flicker of recognition amidst the silence …
Longing for my kindness and effort that shimmered with possibility
I vowed to nurture her return
To guide her back into the light
Where she rightfully belonged ..
She belonged to the poetry within her …

Little Roksana

The pic is from the archive of memories of a young girl; another of her mirror image. She was travelling by train, from Kolkata to Delhi ….

It was an amazing journey!

Wanderer

His presence lingers always
In thoughts, he resides …

When will I be able to let go of the enchanting pull of Kashmir, with its grand mountains and stunning scenery? I believe I’m entirely in love with it.

Discovering happiness and serenity along the path and journey ….

Have you ever visited a place that lingers in your mind long after you’ve left?

Tea-date

A sip of tea,
And a glance
That we exchanged ,
Sitting at a quiet cafe,
Where our stories blossomed …
Two strangers,
Just so world apart …
Yet here we met
Beneath the cozy ambiance,
And our hearts beat –
A strangely warm tune …

With every swirl of steam
With every stir of sugar –
The fragrant brew gradually becomes
A well-woven fantasy …
As we shared our tales …

There’s a bridge between us,
As we sip and shared…
No need to fuss though …
Each word a melody
Each sip a dance
In this tea date
We found romance ….

Time passes
Paths diverge
From distant lands or
Just down the street
For in this simple rendezvous,
Our soul found
A connection so profound …

Agape

A self-portrait captured
In the window’s reflection …
Streets refreshed, cars in repose,
As the breeze sweeping by …
Your absence is there deep within,
Even in the hustle of life …
A smile graces my lips in this bustling race
Thinking of you ….
Contemplating ….
Life carries me well forward
With an unconditional love for you …

Agape/ greek
(n.) The highest form of love. Selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love; persists no matter the circumstance …

Wonderwall

Do you realize the depth of my longing, the relentless ache for your words that consumes me day after day?

As time slips away, I find myself bereft of the anticipation that you’ll come to me with your thoughts woven into words …

Every passing day feels like an eternity, a solitary bird yearning for the life-giving touch of rain …

I yearn for you incessantly, akin to a tearful child yearning for the comforting embrace of its mother …

My wait for you echoes the patience of a patient seeking their cure …

Do you understand the extent of my yearning, how it wraps around me like a heavy fog, casting shadows of melancholy and confusion?

You are a constant presence, flowing like a river, your thoughts swirling within me, sometimes quietly, always tumultuously …

I ache for you, as if my very spirit is on a quest to find you, while my physical self remains anchored in the depths of my heart, waiting …

I long for the days filled with twinkling moments shared between us, each one a precious gem amidst the vast expanse of time .

Wonderwall
(n.) someone you can’t stop yourself thinking about all the time; the person you’re completely infatuated with …

According to Gallagher, Wonderwall‘ describes ‘an imaginary friend who’s gonna come and save you from yourself; a source of support and strength; a soulmate …

Weathering

My dear,

Often these days
My thoughts are spreading out to you
With too many questions hovering upon me..
Is the heat too intense where you dwell?
Are you navigating it with ease?
What’s the moisture like in your realm?
What’s the humidity level there?
I sense the weariness in your words;
It seems like a struggle for you;
Are you truly alright?

Here, we’re also dealing with scorching heatwaves –
Yet, amidst the swelter, my mind wanders to you
How do you cope up in this relentless weather?
Often these days
It crosses my mind …

Do you think of me too,
Sometimes?

Do you remember my disdain for humidity,
And how it worsens my headaches ….
Do you remember my aversion to doctors,
Yet now they’re an inevitable part of life?

My heart, already broken by your absence,
Feels the toll of days passing …
I find myself overthinking,
Lost in thoughts of you,
Especially in these days,
Days of relentless heat,
Days of suffocating humidity ….

Though
You may never grasp …
There’s an essence about you that I can’t shake
Even amidst these sweltering heatwaves …
A grip on me akin to
The greatest tale left untold …

So,

Could you narrate an episode or two from your journey?
Could you paint a tale of your eccentric existence?
Could you recount an experience
For me?
To me?
In these sweltering heat
Amidst the scorching waves there? …

Meanwhile
Take care, my dear,
Know that I pray for you …
In every moment
In every humid day and night
Of these days ….

Yours truly
^^

I do drink lots of water in these scorching conditions. I do keep my body cool. Though I hate to use sunscreen, just I avoid sunburn. I do like coconut water a lot. And Nimbu Pani too ☺️. Then I love ice cream too 🤷🏿‍♀️

Do you?

Tacenda

My longing, a relentless tide
Your absence, a void deep inside ….
Am I flawed, or loved?

Tacenda
(n.) things better left unsaid

That Yellow

She paints grace
In glowing yellow …
As the brush-strokes
Softly glide through her skin …
Hers is a delicate face
Soothing and serene;
Tread with a gentle touch
In colors unseen ..
That yellow color girl
In tranquil pose ..
She’s a grace …

Yellow is my favourite color … which color do you like most?

Avenoir

In strokes of paints and words
My soul opens up inviting you to breathe life into my world …
Yet you missed the essence, and
The depth of my art … Only once though … yet
The entire ordeal leaves me to ponder, and
Torn apart …

Do you feel the echo of my heart’s despair?
Or does indifference cloak the air?
It matters not, for distance now weaves
its sway,
As I journey on,
far from yesterday’s bay …


Though you missed my art’s embrace,
Let its sigh lingers, finding their place …
Somewhere within you …
As you hold it close to your being in time to come
Let its essence, eternal, be freeing …
Let my art reside,
As a silent companion …
As a comforting guide ….
As a cherished part of me …


May it dwell Within you,
So I may live on forever through my art
With you …

I love my Jian Bird Creates journey … it’s a journey of creativity and joy and resilience of a lot more than you could ever think of …

Forget Me Not

Avenoir/ latin
(n.) the desire to see memories in advance or desire that memory could flow backward …

What It Is

It is madness
says reason
It is what it is
says love …

It is unhappiness
says calculation
It is nothing but pain
says fear
It has no future
says insight
It is what it is
says love …

It is ridiculous
says pride
It is foolish
says caution
It is impossible
says experience
It is what it is
says love …

What it is by Erich Fried

Love this poem and read it many times. Do you love such poems?

I love many of them …

First and foremost, allow me to share Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43, ‘How Do I Love Thee?’

It begins with the iconic lines:

‘How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways…’

These two lines alone contain volumes of meaning, and I find myself revisiting them often …

There’s another poem, I love, and that is ‘Hope’ by Emily Dickinson

‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all’ …

I may not be good at recitation, but I have a deep passion for reading and appreciating the intricate artistry of language. The way words are arranged to evoke emotions, convey wisdom, and capture the essence of life, love, and nature resonates deeply with me. It’s in these moments, amidst the twists and turns of expression, that I find myself enamored with the beauty of language and the emotions it encapsulates …

See, when you read ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost, won’t you just love this famous poem?

‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep’ …

Here’s another eloquent excerpt from the renowned poem ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost:

‘Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.’

This poem resonates deeply with me and holds a special place in my heart, as I often find myself reflecting on its message of making pivotal choices that shape one’s journey.

I have a profound admiration for another poem, namely ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.’ Its expression conjures the sense of companionship, as if the lover is spiritually present, ensuring one is not alone:

‘Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky’ …

Isn’t it beautiful?

I’m certain many of you appreciate these poems. There are numerous others, but I’d like to share just a few of my absolute favorites with you all, such as ‘Leisure’ by William Henry Davies:

‘What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare …
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.’

To selectively share excerpts from the poem is my means of conveying:

Please delve into the poems I’m presenting here—
read them when solitude surrounds you,
read them in the company of your beloved,
read them among friends,
read them with strangers,
read them in tranquility,
read them amidst chaos …
but above all, I hope you
read them in their entirety …

Read

Sharing one of my recent painting video from ‘Chaos’ series. Hope you may like it. Also I tried to read the poem ‘What It Is’. Hope you would like listening to it as well ….

And also please do share here about your favourite poems …..

Let Silence Reigns

Let silence reigns…
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream ….

Let certain words remain unsaid …
Let some words remain unheard …
Let silence reigns …

For if all is voiced
What remains in the silence?
For if all is listened
What remains in the voice?

Let blank pages be as it is
For me and you, for the time being or for long, long time …

Let silence reigns …

Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream, unbound, serene and graceful ….

Musings

Reflect on
‘Who are you going to be’
From
‘What are you going to do? ….

You know you want to do right things.
Then if you know who you are going to be, then
You’ll choose to be KIND in whatever you do.

It is said, ‘“If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind”, a quote taken from American philosopher, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.

This quote makes me think about the impact of kindness on other people’s lives …

Consciously choose to be kind …

Just was getting ready to take a picture in front of Buddha Dordenma Statue but the click was done just like that! So an untimely mistake of a moment gone by – captured … but they say nothing is untimely … everything happens at its own pace and in its own time …

Love it ♥️

Hope

Blooms glow …
Hope is in petals bright
Nature promises in breeze …

Part of my morning rituals are spent in my little varandah garden! It refreshes me …. Love the sound of the chirping birds, the warm light, smell of the wind and greens and flowers … Some days I read here with a glass of warm honey water and some days a cup of tea … with a little conversation … These days are Ramadan days, the most blessed days and I’m healing from my broken finger …. I hope it’ll be alright soon … and everything too

Hope …

Let the blooms bring hope …

A Delusion

Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …

Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….

Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …

I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”

“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …

Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….

However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …

Unfortunately 
-A delayed flight disappointed me …
-‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. )
-Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)

Now what? 

A dilemma …

To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!

My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!

Poor me and my surprise gifts!

Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …

It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …

It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city. 

Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories. 

Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….

This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.

But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …

But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city! 

Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …

It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …

So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of 
that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …

A delusion!

It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….

Hijr

Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …

Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….

What If

What if it all works out?
What if you get that call?
What if today goes unexpectedly well?
What if you have what it takes?
What if you meet someone unexpectedly?
What if today you make the day best with what you have?
What if someone is praying for you?
What if you receive that one mail?
What if someone has special feelings for you?
What if someone tells you that?
What if you go on that trip with someone for a day or two?
What if the trip takes you to another state of mind?
What if you return with a complete different state of heart?
What if you do not know what’s next?
What if the best is yet to come?
What if great things are on the way?
What if you don’t search for any answer?
What if the answer is within you?

I love all the ‘What ifs’ …
What ifs’ give me hope …

Heartbroken

What broke your heart so bad
That you had to close every door, 
That you say you have a dark soul
And can’t utter the word ‘love’ anymore?

Sanhita Baruah

Quite heartbroken wounded words these are, yet so beautifully expressed, I think. So I shared with you all …

I loved these lines so much that I even tried to recite in my naive voice. About the recording and my voice, I think I sound too childish, and that makes me feel nervous about it. It might sound boring to some, and it’s a bit dramatic also, as if I was actually telling you

I hope you know this …

Love & Light,

Roksana

Heimweh

Echoes of your absence linger
In the winds of change; …
These days! ….

My heart aches
Unknowingly and why do
‘I miss you’? – I strangely sigh
These days! ….

Heimweh/ german
(n.) a longing for home

Serendipity

Can I sit with you without any words just for a while?

Serendipity/ english. ser·en·dip·i·ty ˌser-ən-ˈdip-ət-ē :
(n.) finding something beautiful without looking for it …

Serendipity in love signifies the magic of unplanned moments and the joy of discovering a special connection where you least expect it