Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …
Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….
Category: Good memories
Meraki
My canvas of delight is
Dancing bright …
My passion is igniting
A colorful sight …
My soul is painting
A tranquil choir …
My emotion is healing
With peace and fire …
Meraki
(v.) to do something with soul, creativity or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do …
Little Joy
So she was absent for one day
And came to school the next day and she came to my desk room to see me. She was standing at the doorstep and she called me softly,
‘Miss’ …..
I looked at her, and got up from my desk and went closer to the doorstep and touching her soft cheek, I said,
‘Hello Mumma! How’re you sweety? You were absent yesterday. I heard that you had toothache. How’s your toothache now?
I was saying all these to her at a go …
And she said to me ‘Did you miss me?’ with such deep affectionate look at me and with a softer voice that it almost melted my heart with pure bliss …
It was so heartwarming, I immediately gave her a hug and said, ‘Of course, I missed you dear. I missed you so much.’
It seemed she felt good to hear those words for her and then she hugged me for a few seconds and smiled ….
And then she noticed my buddy taping fingers
‘What happened?’ – serious concerns with full of innocent sympathy
‘It just was an accident my dear.’ I answered.
‘Is this hurting you?’ She couldn’t get it what’s that!
‘Well, yes! A little’ ….
‘How did it happen?’ – asked like an adult as if she would understand the whole situation …
She kissed my buddy taping and asked me, ‘Should I draw something on your bandage? So it’ll be cured faster.’
‘Oh dear! Really? You can draw of course.’
Then she brought out her special colour box and said to me, ‘I want to use the colors that you prefer today. Cause it’s your bandage on your hand.”
Then I chose some colors, pink, purple, green yellow …
She drew this one. She drew a heart, a flower …. For me ….
She asked me, ‘Did you like it?
I know you all know what my answer was to her …
Now you tell me, ‘Do you like this Little Joy’?’
Do you value such little joy in your life?
How sometimes we get someone’s affection and we don’t even notice ….
How sometimes you know that you’re someone special in someone’s heart, and yet you do not care much or ignore or you take that for granted …
How often we do not acknowledge these little joys of life …
Often I do find these ‘Little Joy’ moments in my life and I value them deeply. I believe life is made up of these little moments, precious memories, vulnerability and love that all add up to create a big canvas of your life. We should know that the bigger picture cannot be made without all the small moments that bring it all together. So
‘I hope you find, as I did, that happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life’
Palletes of Nature
Hello Artist,
That dream was planted in your heart for a reason. No one else can dream it for you, no one else can accomplish it …
Be kind to yourself …
Follow your dream …
Loving this colorful echoes, my little palletes of nature …
Oubaitori
Lost, found, blooms anew …
Mountains stand in silent strength …
Far, but near, a song unfolds …
Oubaitori/ japanese
(n.) the idea that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time and in their individual ways ….
A remarkable day today, A Monday! Je t’aime comme tu es ….
I♥️
Musings
There’s a Buddha in me saying,
‘When in doubt and confusion, pause.’
There’s a soulmate in me saying,
‘Do not fear. Be vulnerable. Love.’
#roksanatales
In Pattaya, Thailand
Let the Rain-clouds Linger on
You are lingering
Over my head like rain clouds …
When will you fall like rain in my heart?
But wait …
Not now …
Not yet ……
Ever since I’ve acknowledged this f e e l ing
Interestingly, I have felt less alone …
There are still some lingering doubts in my mind; though
My journey into this has been very unplanned
So practicing the pause and silence would probably work, telling myself …
And the rain clouds are
hovering over me ….
Hence taking pause has
become easy silently, and solitarily …
As if
I’m in love with the bliss of solitude …
These rain-clouds are lingering
over my head
And I’m looking at it from the bright side
That they are with me means to me
As if
You’re with me!
So, wait .…
Not now …
Not yet …..
Fall like rain in my heart
After sometime, after some pauses …
Rain in my heart for no reason
Let the clouds part, doubts be gone,
Fall in love with me …
Like a soft, whispering breeze while it rains
Only after sometime, after some pauses …
Not now …
Not yet …
♥️
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Dwelling in the Eternal Love
Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …
How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …
.
To be continued ….
Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?
I’m just curious ….
A Symphony of Love …
The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….
There
I felt shy when you came near to me
The breeze could hear the breaths of my silent shyness … but I couldn’t …
Here
My unheard songs are echoing across the mountains
Even though I’m feeling a bit lonely
Without you ….
Yet this loneliness has a fragrance of you
Our love has hopes for tomorrow
This distance looks good to me …
The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….
A Tale of Twin Paintings
I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.
-Vincent Willem Van Gogh
It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.
So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.
A Tale of Twin Paintings
Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …
Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?
Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….
Amazing, na?
Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.
When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.
Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …
For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.
Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.
Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you;
Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.
Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.
Warmly,
Roksana
#roksanatales
JianBirdGallery❄️ JianBirdCreates
And Promise Me …
And promise me
You’ll always remember:You’re
A. A Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Braver than you believe, and
Stronger than you seem, and
Smarter than you think.”
.
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On the road
#roksanatales
A Home
I haven’t met you
I haven’t seen you
But often I feel a home in you …
.
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Where the glacier meets the sky, the land ceases to be earthly, and the earth becomes one with the heavens; no sorrows live there anymore, and therefore joy is not necessary; beauty alone reigns there, beyond all demands”-
Halldór Laxness
A Postcard from Kashmir
Detached Attachment
I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …
After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….
.
.
.
Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?
I wish …
I Sense You ….
In the stillness of the lake
As I keep still,
I sense you
I sense a feeling of warmth
Flowing inside me …
I sense a reflection of you
Residing inside me …
So beautiful and mesmerising …
Then
I sense the strength to move along
In various ups and downs of life
With you and you only …
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pondering
Is a reflection of you
A mirror of a beautiful reflection of me?
Or
A reflection of you
Is nothing but a beautiful reflection of me.
Melancholia
Soft yellow breeze …
Sweetness surrounds …
Such tenderness …
Yet a melancholy mood …
.
.
.
.
In Silence …
If you’re silent,
I know in silence you say more …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t want to know about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t feel what happens to you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t remember you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t care about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t miss you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t love you …
I miss you
I know you
I care for you
I remember you
I feel for you
I love you
Always …
It Doesn’t Matter
I know it’s strange
But I do adore you as you are …
And it doesn’t matter
If we live far away from
Each other …
I know it’s strange
That I don’t know about you,
And I didn’t see this coming
But it doesn’t matter
If I constantly long for you
hopelessly …
I know it’s strange
But I love you way too much
And it doesn’t matter
If you can’t prevent me
From loving you forever …
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Little Easels – Paintings
Hello Everyone, I’m so delighted to let all of you know that I’ll be organising an in house exhibition, titled ‘Meet & Greet’ for the theme of ‘Love & Light’.
All the details are in the link:
https://fb.me/e/3jE0l7WS9?mibextid=RQdjqZ
I’m already thankful and grateful for each of the gift of purchase from JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project (Greeting Cards & Little Easel Paintings). The gifts are going to be DOUBLED as a ‘Giveaway’ from Jian Bird Creates to any non-profit organization working for the climate change movement, empowerment and education for women and children, or sustainability locally and globally.
So, ‘Meet & Greet’ and be a part of JBC’s ‘Love & Light’ project and help make an impact in the community and beyond.
Registration is must: Fill up the form to join the event:
https://forms.gle/z8iNSbri9zsQhSsc6
If you kindly come, I’ll be super happy for your presence at my humble event.
I hope to see you there, in shaAllah
With love,
Roksana Amelia
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‘We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”
Mother Teresa
Love is a Verb
Let’s sit
And talk
Talk about the dots those bring us here.
Let’s sit
And stare
Stare at each other to feel our deepest core.
Let’s sit
And see
See the skies with your blue and my yellow emotions.
Let’s sit
And listen
Listen to the heartbeats that pound at the very sight of each other.
Let’s sit
And look
Look for the memories of our smiles.
Let’s sit
And fly
Fly high to soar in the sky together.
Let’s sit
And plan
Plan our trips holding each other’s hands.
Let’s sit
And touch
Touch the little joy of our souls.
Let’s sit
And feel
Feel the inner beauty of our hearts.
Let’s sit
And pray
Pray that we never part from the other.
Let’s sit
And hold
Hold on to each other forevermore.
Let’s sit
And give
Give magical hugs, kisses and warm caresses saying, ‘I love you.’
.
.
roksanatales
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Tell me, ‘Do you love me?’
Two Young Mind
In the long echoing life
Two young mind
Found an element so fine
Like red wine
And sharpened their last breath
Through the long echoing death ….
The pair loved many years
Endured life what God gave them
Asked for them no second best
And celebrated life with no other but the rest
In the long long echoing life
Through the long echoing death …
Both loved the strange thoughts
Not so sober for the sober though;
Yet knew how to laugh, weep and go
And all the living mock
Drank the sweet extremity of their passion rough
In the long echoing life
Through the long long echoing death …
The woman talked to make up solitudes
Sounded almost like a pretty autumn time
Blossoming and falling into a bursting rhyme
The man knew this beautiful woman-soul
And was pleased to see her gorgeous look
And dared enough to make her whole
In their long echoing life
Through their long echoing death …
Traveled many moons
The two mesmerising soul
Through the days of their young and old
Almost shared all the neighbouring mind
Emptied the cage and let the cage bird fly being so kind
‘Fifty years’, the woman counted
‘Fifty sweet years’, the man whispered
Their love broods
Still in the long echoing life
Still through the long echoing death.
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Fantasy
Happiness Tasted –
.
A cup of coffee with a friend,
Is like happiness tasted and time well-spent.
And then a toast to us,
May we find many reasons to smile together.
.
How do you experience ‘Happiness Tasted’?
That may very well be a good thing, but I am curious, you know.
Roksana Tales 