Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight … But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay? – Yes, I’m okay. – I’m sorry. – Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road – Why were you … – Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever … So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree. It’s as elegant as Taj. I feel gorgeous in it. I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital and I m wearing this dull hospital gown! How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him. That’s got to be him … How am I sure! Why not … I have seen him so Many times in my dreams … I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him … Now? What will I have with him? Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)? Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there … Not sure of the direction, I guess … Should I call him? Tell him to come straight over here … I’m just behind this long glass door and Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming… That’s mine How can I manage my heart palpitations? I can hear it… It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me … Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner … I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit … As if I have become all still! My heart is beating so fast And I do not want him to see me like this … Nervous and blushing Hey, but I’m sick … My heart rate can be high And I can blush a bit Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and It sounds like you … You told me when you would meet me, You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock “Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky” Now you won’t be reciting the poem … Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed And talk this or that … As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think … But trust me, I won’t be in pain To listen to you … Now I don’t know if you can hear me properly Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ … I also feel to just leave this place You and I …
How boring this place is For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now? (Your thoughtful words for me) – I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm … – Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc? – Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines. – Where’s your lugguge? – There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive … – What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind, ‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking, – Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him, – I trust you. – Did you listen what I said? – Yes, I did … – Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation… A quiet conversation Dwelling In the eternal love …
To be continued ….
Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?
A simple prayer Powerful enough ‘You deserve happy’ …
You think you can stop loving someone, But in reality You can only hide that feeling, You never stop loving … Because once you love someone, There’s no undoing it … There’s only prayers of Happiness for them …
You are like a music Which creates melancholic moods inside my heart … A melody that lingers, night and day … I take time to listen to it, I find myself enchanted; When nothing seems to ease my restlessness I listen to you, my music To walk the long journey of life Even though it only creates melancholic moods But you are like that music to me Loving, healing, heart-touching Connecting my soul to you Forever and always ….
I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process. -Vincent Willem Van Gogh
It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.
So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.
A Tale of Twin Paintings
Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …
Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?
Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….
Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.
When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.
Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …
For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.
Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.
Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you; Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.
Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.
I haven’t met you I haven’t seen you But often I feel a home in you …
Where the glacier meets the sky, the land ceases to be earthly, and the earth becomes one with the heavens; no sorrows live there anymore, and therefore joy is not necessary; beauty alone reigns there, beyond all demands”-
I dreamt of walking On mountains And I dreamt of meeting You ….
Here I’m walking On the lands of magical mountains … High above the crowds and the clouds, Under the ancient pine trees I’m in its close embrace .. Surrendering to the magnificence … Believe, I could see nothing In the thread of mist Caressing the wind Everywhere I see You …
Only you …
Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.
I was waiting For you And you didn’t show up while my odes started to burn … A heartache …
After a while, There a humble person came along .. Seemed so at the moment … I asked him to take a picture of me and There I sat at the corner of a bench In the garden … Took some time to Get my mood toned Up my unsettled face … There the man waited patiently … A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady As I was, I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’ Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’ Smiling … With the chilly breeze that was Passing through I preferred my warm Jacket kept aside And my heavy heart smile For the warmth I needed …. A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly Conversation with the stranger He seemed to like all of it … My chitter-chattering And laughter flowed freely, naturally … Then we started walking In the garden, blooming all around An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas For each of us, His violet, mine yellow one We were walking and talking Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying … The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile … Letting love in our heart, unknowingly … After a while, we faded into our different paths Just two strangers with memories A detachment ….
Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?
In the stillness of the lake As I keep still, I sense you I sense a feeling of warmth Flowing inside me … I sense a reflection of you Residing inside me … So beautiful and mesmerising … Then I sense the strength to move along In various ups and downs of life With you and you only …
The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you The place was a haunting one The light was shining And You and I collide Yet we never kissed … You never touched my face … What could I say? What could I do? There I stood, unknowing What’s happening In a world full of billions There were you Mixed with all of the chaos Inside and Out At that very moment I somehow felt You and I collide For a reason … When The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you
If only you would realize some day, how much have you hurt me, If only your heart ever, craves for me or my presence… If only you feel that love again someday for me, If only you are affected someday by my absence… Only you can end all my suffering and this unbearable pain, If only you would know what you could never procure… If only you go through the memories of past once again, Since the day you left my heart has bled, no one has its cure… If only you would bring that love, those showers and that rain… If only you would come back and see what damage you create, I’ve been waiting for your return since forever more… If only you would see the woman that you have made, You said we cannot sail through, how were you so sure? If only you can feel the old things that can never fade, You may have moved on, but a piece of my heart is still with you… I know how I’ve come so far alone; I know how I’m able to wade, People say that I’m insane and you won’t ever come back again… Maybe you would have never made your separate way, Maybe you would have stayed with me and proved everyone wrong… If only you would know the pain of dying every day, If only you would feel the burden of smiling and being strong…
In the long echoing life Two young mind Found an element so fine Like red wine And sharpened their last breath Through the long echoing death ….
The pair loved many years Endured life what God gave them Asked for them no second best And celebrated life with no other but the rest In the long long echoing life Through the long echoing death …
Both loved the strange thoughts Not so sober for the sober though; Yet knew how to laugh, weep and go And all the living mock Drank the sweet extremity of their passion rough In the long echoing life Through the long long echoing death …
The woman talked to make up solitudes Sounded almost like a pretty autumn time Blossoming and falling into a bursting rhyme The man knew this beautiful woman-soul And was pleased to see her gorgeous look And dared enough to make her whole In their long echoing life Through their long echoing death …
Traveled many moons The two mesmerising soul Through the days of their young and old Almost shared all the neighbouring mind Emptied the cage and let the cage bird fly being so kind ‘Fifty years’, the woman counted ‘Fifty sweet years’, the man whispered Their love broods Still in the long echoing life Still through the long echoing death.
Darlin’, don’t quit your daydream It’s your life that you’re making It ain’t big enough if it doesn’t scare the hell out of you If it makes you nervous It’s probably worth it Why save it for sleep when you could be living your daydream?”
Daydream Song by Lily Meola
I did this painting late at night around 2 am in the morning and this song is so true … When certain words move people, they show how much power they have to make changes …
Be afraid, but do it anyway …..
I have given this painting this title, CHAOS. As a child I was forever daydreaming. As I grow older, I find chaos in fulfilling my daydreaming. Some days I win, and some days, I fail. However, I never lose hope and continue to daydreams. I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, but it does make me feel good and helps me mentally settled with all my daydreams and I keep moving as time and space drive me to eternity. I m sure to leave behind a legacy of grit and perseverance.
“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.”
– Maya Angelou
Have you ever felt chaos in chasing your daydreams? I think that’s what it is always for most people …. What do you think?
I have visited places to see you, feel you, articulate you in my own way. The more I see you, the more I fall in love with you. Some make it complicated and some make you so simple. You are instilled with so many stories of different people. And different people see you with their different perspectives, with their own stories. It fascinates me. It doesn’t matter to you if you are old or young. You know only to encompass yourself to infinity. You do not hide. You are open for all. Some feel you like home. Some treat you like strangers.
Dear Art, You are not stranger to me. You are like home to me. I do not like to describe you much. You come to me as a beautiful surprise each day. You bring rainbow colours to explore my universe. I rest in you silently nurturing a world full of wonders. I feel pure.
Dear Art, Do you know you make me shimmery, trembling, softly, from within?
I struggle to convey in words What I want to say to you ..
I talk to you every day You may not hear me Word by word; But you already know it all, I know …
You remain so quiet … Day by day you are becoming quieter (Oh! How I hate it!) It seems that you want me to Remain quiet too … Cause all these chattering May make it messier between us And I can see that too …
Sometimes I think I will stay quiet … May be, only then I’ll be free from My struggle to say it all To you.
Have you ever experienced such inexpressible moments to express yourself in your life?
Find me Before the mountains crumble. Find me Before I m lost.
How often do you feel lost, lost in translation of your feelings and emotions?
This street photography was taken by me, Downtown Brooklyn, April, 2022. Apart from the whole girly face image, I loved the collage of a bird at the bottom left. Do you love taking photographs while just walking the roads? Do you observe things and people around while on the street? Do you contemplate in midst of crowd? Can you find quiet time with yourself even when you are with people around? Just asking! I’m curious to know you 😊