Category: Blessings in disguise

C’est la vie

My Dear,
It’s likely that as you were writing to me, I was walking back home from work, taking in the beauty of the flowers in my charming neighborhood …

I adore my neighborhood. The scenery is incredibly captivating with its tall trees and beautiful blossoming flowers. I frequently opt to walk home from work, as it’s only 850-1000 steps from my workplace to my home …

So, what I was saying about my neighborhood!

I really admire the shade under the tall trees and enjoy watching the breeze rustle through the colorful bougainvillea. It’s lovely to see people walking along the footpath and enjoying their time. As I passed by the mosque, I noticed people seeking relief from the scorching heat under the trees in front of the mosque. I adore the vibrant colors, the fragrant scents, and the sense of simplicity in that scene.

It was scorching heat outside. And there I found myself embracing the warmth of the surroundings. There was refreshing cool breeze and thoughts of you. It may sound unbelievable, but it’s the truth. Your presence in my thoughts remains unwavering amidst the whirlwind of life’s events. Please, believe that.

So, where was I? I was expressing my fondness for the delightful, blossoming, shady path in my neighborhood and how much I’m fond of you …

Today I took a break from work as I was feeling an intermittent cramping in my abdomen. Some rest will help me feel better. However,. Sudden leave from work leads me to think, “How can I best utilize this extra time at home?” Swiftly, I begin mentally compiling a to-do list. Eventually, I decided to walk back home…

While returning, I found myself feeling happy to see these blossoms and greens. The outside heat was too strong but I cared less and I continued walking, intermittently pausing to capture photographs.

I returned home and checked my email once again. I was so surprised to receive your mail. This news brightened my day so much that now I feel inspired to spend the next few hours painting.

I find great pleasure in painting when my heart is filled with happiness and I was very happy to read your mail. 

Your words and painting will grace my own solitude for today, now and here. 

Do you enjoy solitude?

I eagerly await your response to my somewhat poetic emails.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, blissful day!

Yours truly,
^^

Do you enjoy solitude?

C’est la vie means ‘That’s life’ 😊

Let Silence Reigns

Let silence reigns…
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream ….

Let certain words remain unsaid …
Let some words remain unheard …
Let silence reigns …

For if all is voiced
What remains in the silence?
For if all is listened
What remains in the voice?

Let blank pages be as it is
For me and you, for the time being or for long, long time …

Let silence reigns …

Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream, unbound, serene and graceful ….

Hijr

Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …

Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….

Meraki

My canvas of delight is
Dancing bright …
My passion is igniting
A colorful sight …
My soul is painting
A tranquil choir …
My emotion is healing
With peace and fire …

Meraki
(v.) to do something with soul, creativity or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do …

What If

What if it all works out?
What if you get that call?
What if today goes unexpectedly well?
What if you have what it takes?
What if you meet someone unexpectedly?
What if today you make the day best with what you have?
What if someone is praying for you?
What if you receive that one mail?
What if someone has special feelings for you?
What if someone tells you that?
What if you go on that trip with someone for a day or two?
What if the trip takes you to another state of mind?
What if you return with a complete different state of heart?
What if you do not know what’s next?
What if the best is yet to come?
What if great things are on the way?
What if you don’t search for any answer?
What if the answer is within you?

I love all the ‘What ifs’ …
What ifs’ give me hope …

Heimweh

Echoes of your absence linger
In the winds of change; …
These days! ….

My heart aches
Unknowingly and why do
‘I miss you’? – I strangely sigh
These days! ….

Heimweh/ german
(n.) a longing for home

Little Joy

So she was absent for one day

And came to school the next day and she came to my desk room to see me. She was standing at the doorstep and she called me softly,

‘Miss’ …..

I looked at her, and got up from my desk and went closer to the doorstep and touching her soft cheek, I said,

‘Hello Mumma! How’re you sweety? You were absent yesterday. I heard that you had toothache. How’s your toothache now?

I was saying all these to her at a go …

And she said to me ‘Did you miss me?’ with such deep affectionate look at me and with a softer voice that it almost melted my heart with pure bliss …

It was so heartwarming, I immediately gave her a hug and said, ‘Of course, I missed you dear. I missed you so much.’

It seemed she felt good to hear those words for her and then she hugged me for a few seconds and smiled ….

And then she noticed my buddy taping fingers

‘What happened?’ – serious concerns with full of innocent sympathy

‘It just was an accident my dear.’ I answered.

‘Is this hurting you?’ She couldn’t get it what’s that!

‘Well, yes! A little’ ….

‘How did it happen?’ – asked like an adult as if she would understand the whole situation …

She kissed my buddy taping and asked me, ‘Should I draw something on your bandage? So it’ll be cured faster.’

‘Oh dear! Really? You can draw of course.’

Then she brought out her special colour box and said to me, ‘I want to use the colors that you prefer today. Cause it’s your bandage on your hand.”

Then I chose some colors, pink, purple, green yellow …

She drew this one. She drew a heart, a flower …. For me ….

She asked me, ‘Did you like it?

I know you all know what my answer was to her …

Now you tell me, ‘Do you like this Little Joy’?’

Do you value such little joy in your life?

How sometimes we get someone’s affection and we don’t even notice ….

How sometimes you know that you’re someone special in someone’s heart, and yet you do not care much or ignore or you take that for granted …

How often we do not acknowledge these little joys of life …

Often I do find these ‘Little Joy’ moments in my life and I value them deeply. I believe life is made up of these little moments, precious memories, vulnerability and love that all add up to create a big canvas of your life. We should know that the bigger picture cannot be made without all the small moments that bring it all together. So

‘I hope you find, as I did, that happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life’

Steadily, Casually

Steadily, casually
I’ve become accustomed
To reading your words ….


What an enchanting time
It is ….
To be drawn to you
To be close to you …


Steadily, casually
Reading your words
I’ve become accustomed
To finding my heart …

Oubaitori

Lost, found, blooms anew …
Mountains stand in silent strength …
Far, but near, a song unfolds …

Oubaitori/ japanese
(n.) the idea that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time and in their individual ways ….

A remarkable day today, A Monday! Je t’aime comme tu es ….

I♥️

Humepenthe

Steam swirls,
Chaotic warmth in coffee cup,
Awake, senses grace, within ….

Humepenthe/ made up
(n.) someone who makes you forget er your pain and sorrow; someone with whom you forget all your worries ….

Humepenthe is a made up word (@cosmosbyrudra) made with combination of human + nepenthe which human form of a drug which was given to people to forget or lessen their pain and suffering in ancient time ….

La Reponse C’est L’amour

Moments linger, serene and soft
Time embraces our cherished moments,
And memories bloom, and serendipity stays …

I’m in love with this music. And you?

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La reponse c’est l’amour/ french
(phr.) “Love is the answer”

Ayurnamat

How frail you’re when you feel attached …
And how infinite you’re when you let go …

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Ayurnamat/ inuit
(n.) the philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that can not be changed …

Solitude and Love

Without solitude, Love will not stay long by your side.

Because Love needs to rest, so that it can journey through the heavens and reveal itself in other forms.

Without solitude, no plant or animal can survive, no soil can remain productive, no child can learn about life, no artist can create, no work can grow and be transformed.

Solitude is not the absence of Love, but its complement.

Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.

Therefore, blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.

If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.

And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.

Paulo Coelho

Jian Bird Creates

Musings

There’s a Buddha in me saying,
‘When in doubt and confusion, pause.’

There’s a soulmate in me saying,
‘Do not fear. Be vulnerable. Love.’


In Pattaya, Thailand

Dwelling in the Eternal Love

Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …

Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …

It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …

– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …

I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …

– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.

Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’

I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.

Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !

Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …

Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….

He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …

Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….

There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …

How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …

– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.

While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’

He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?

There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…

Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …

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To be continued ….

Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?

I’m just curious ….

A Symphony of Love …

Pahalgam, Kashmir

The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….

There
I felt shy when you came near to me
The breeze could hear the breaths of my silent shyness … but I couldn’t …

Here
My unheard songs are echoing across the mountains
Even though I’m feeling a bit lonely
Without you ….
Yet this loneliness has a fragrance of you
Our love has hopes for tomorrow
This distance looks good to me …

The paths and the valleys are glowing
There is magic in mountains and waterfalls
The air is reciting the story of our love ….

A Tale of Twin Paintings

I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.
-Vincent Willem Van Gogh

It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.

So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.

A Tale of Twin Paintings

Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …

Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?

Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….

Amazing, na?

Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.

When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.

Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …

For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.

Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.

Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you;
Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.

Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.

Warmly,

Roksana


JianBirdGallery❄️ JianBirdCreates

‘I dream my painting and I paint my dreams’

Grey isn’t What I’m Meant to be …

Life is somewhat grey
Everywhere
Just monotony
Lost and lonely …

Don’t you know?

Only when you stay
Life is colorful ….
A hopeful glow
Echoes of brighter joy
Birds sing cheerful songs
Rays of sunshines warm my cheeks
My yellow dyed dreams return …

Now it’s grey
Everywhere …

When will you come?
Without you, I feel grey ….

Don’t you know?
Grey isn’t what I’m meant to be …

And Promise Me …

The Good Traveler

And promise me
You’ll always remember:

You’re
Braver than you believe, and
Stronger than you seem, and
Smarter than you think.”

A. A Milne, Winnie the Pooh

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On the road

Sonamarg, Kashmir

A Home

I haven’t met you
I haven’t seen you
But often I feel a home in you …

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Where the glacier meets the sky, the land ceases to be earthly, and the earth becomes one with the heavens; no sorrows live there anymore, and therefore joy is not necessary; beauty alone reigns there, beyond all demands”-

Halldór Laxness

A Postcard from Kashmir

Meeting among The Mountains

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

I dreamt of walking
On mountains
And
I dreamt of meeting
You ….

Here I’m walking
On the lands of magical mountains …
High above the crowds and the clouds,
Under the ancient pine trees
I’m in its close embrace ..
Surrendering to the magnificence …
Believe, I could see nothing
In the thread of mist
Caressing the wind
Everywhere I see
You …

Only you …

Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.

Kashmir, Heaven on Earth

Detached Attachment

Shalimar

I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …

After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….

Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….

Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….

The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….

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Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?

I wish …

I wish
I were a bird!
So that I could
Fly to you
Just right now …